Here is a little peice of the beauty I get to enjoy each morning. Its a work in progress.
5am Feeding
I sit supporting your little warm body
lots of short, thick hair just under my chin,
little eyes closed in focus,
mouth sucking hard
swallowing rhythmically.
Your little hand pets the top of mine
traveling up and down my arm, comforting me.
You hands, featherlike in softness and delicacy,
stockier than Sister’s starfish fingers,
are wide and strong and ready for…
what?
They are not cubby hands. They are distinctly male.
The strength and grace in which your left hand moves along
my arm
is beautiful.
When not eating you usually suck this left thumb.
And yet while your mouth is busy,
you’ve chosen to run the comforting hand along me.
Is it a sign of love?
Are you bestowing on me your greatest gift: your comfort?
Or are you absorbing my love,
my smell,
gathering it up in that little fist to enjoy for the next
hour
until the sun wakes you up?
I can’t get enough of
that little hand moving steadily from mid arm to the top of my own.
It feels like silk.
And still your eyes are closed in appreciation of this good
milk,
warm and thick the way you like.
Once you finish and turn into me,
the stroking is over.
You draw your left hand into yourself and attach.
The right hand comes in too,
but grabs all the extra fabric of your onesie shirt
securing you in this delightfully snug package of loves and
baby.
I cradle you close to me and breathe in your smell.
You always finish before I’ve gotten all the snuggles I
want.
Then I lift you into your crib
letting you slowly roll out of my arms,
your feet and legs raised to more efficiently complete the
immediate roll to your side, where
you sleep left arm plugged in and tucked under,
right hand fully of cotton,
feet and legs perpendicular but relaxed now.
The sweetest 'L" shaped body I've ever seen.
Thank you for being my baby.
